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Satire: Bring back the circus

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The circus is the epitome of American culture.

When I was a child, nothing brought me more joy than packing a rickety circus grandstand and emptying my wallet for overpriced glow sticks and popcorn.

Or listening to the announcer’s booming voice rattle off a list of sponsorships every fifteen minutes. Or watching a gaggle of clowns distract the audience from the raging ringmaster’s attempts to expel his misbehaving tigers and lions.

Consumerism and controlled chaos — nothing could be more patriotic.

Unfortunately, political machinations led to the demise of the circus in recent years. Radicals constantly shame the circus for abusing its wild animals and employees alike, saying it only exists to satisfy the human ego’s desire for superiority over the less fortunate.

All of these accusations are true, but they are exactly what makes the circus American. 

Voters should focus on bringing the big top back to glory this election.

In the 19th and 20th centuries, the circus was a force so powerful it could stop daily life in each city it visited. The arrival of the circus train was widely celebrated as a holiday.

Today, the circus is a shell of its former self. The original Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus shut down in 2017. Millions of young Americas, myself included, have not seen the circus in over a decade, if ever.

Undoubtedly, this is a major cause of the mental health crisis that spiraled out of control in our country.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in five Americans experienced symptoms of depression or anxiety last year. Many turned to therapy as a solution, but it can only do so much when the root cause of suffering is a critical lack of circus entertainment.

Why is the circus being killed off when it can save our country?

The radical left’s cruel campaign to dismantle the circus’s grandeur began, like many other tragic business failures in our country, with government regulations.

During the golden era of the circus from the Civil War through the Great Depression, several circus train crashes claimed human lives. Fires in circus tents, like the Hartford Circus Fire in 1944, made headlines.

As unfortunate as these events were, they certainly could not have been prevented, yet the government blamed the events on a lack of safety regulations. Now, circuses cannot operate because the cost of following rules is too high.

We can trust our corporate circus moguls to learn from their mistakes and cut corners responsibly. Why should the government look out for the people’s safety if the circus can instead?

Not all hope is lost, however. Former President Donald Trump rolled back hundreds of regulations during his first term. No better person can do the necessary work to save the circus.

Trump could use the return of the circus as a key aspect of economic policy. Think about life in the 1800s — if you ever found yourself unemployed, you could always leave town and join the circus. Now, middle-class Americans have no such option, which is certainly an underlying cause of the high unemployment rate.

But there’s another reason radicals continue to target the circus: animal rights.

Woke organizations like Stop Circus Suffering have compiled a plethora of seemingly incriminating evidence against the circus. Lions and tigers in the circus spend 75-99% of their time in cramped cages, few circus animals get enough exercise, and many suffer from hunger or thirst. Training regimens for circus animals are brutal and often lead to bizarre, abnormal behavior.

Yet all of these complaints ignore one question: Why should we care about animals’ rights to begin with?

Americans already cage cows, pigs and chickens for their entire lifetimes and slaughter them mercilessly for consumption. Circus animals should not be treated any differently. In fact, animal rights activists should consider an elephant’s life parading between circus rings in chains a mercy.

Animal rights activists are so powerful that some circus companies have attempted to launch replacement versions without animals entirely, but these pitiful shows are an embarrassment to the circuses of old.

If the big top does not feature the ringmaster beating lions into submission to jump through fiery hoops or elephants getting chained by all legs so acrobats can dance on their backs, it is not a circus at all.

We can’t let these woke-ified circuses taint the true experience. Fortunately, Trump is a staunch opposer of animal rights who will cut the nonsense. 

Trump gave extra power to the meat industry during his presidency and ignored any accusations of animal abuse levered against the government. He knows how to stand up for the good of the circus.

Liberals even purged the circus of the sideshows that advertised unusual humans as spectacles in addition to exotic animals. No longer can we pay to observe “freaks” for our entertainment because the left insists it is discriminatory and ableist.

This is censorship. 

The U.S. was founded on the rights to life, liberty and the ability to mock those less fortunate than us, whether wild animals and human spectacles at the circus or Trump’s shaming of immigrants and minorities at the White House.

The radical left’s hatred of the circus runs so deep many turn it into a dirty word to insult the Trump administration. Some say Trump firing members of his own staff resembles the tumultuous atmosphere of keeping wild animals, acrobats and clowns in check. Others say Trump’s orange makeup resembles the attire of a clown.

Trump should not brush off these comparisons — he should own them. Supporting and embodying the circus may be dangerous and messy, but that makes it an act of true patriotism.

If the Trump campaign is a circus, then we have a clear opportunity to turn our government and country back into a circus, too. No better way exists to make the circus great again.


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