Opinion: In defense of masturbation
With the semester in full swing and the elections just around the corner, we’ve got a lot to stress about right now. But the scores on our midterms and the fate of our nation in the 2024 presidential...
View ArticleOpinion: All of our brains are rotted
I’m a frequent consumer of the internet, and it’s gotten to the point where I encounter something referential to Skibidi Toilet, Sigmas or, most recently, influencer-turned-boxer KSI’s new song “Thick...
View ArticleOpinion: Vote for abortion rights
There are a lot of issues at stake in the 2024 presidential election, but to simplify it, let’s focus on abortion. Abortion is a very personal issue and most voters have strong opinions on the matter,...
View ArticleOpinion: The ethics of artificial intelligence in education
Editor’s Note: This article uses generative AI at some points. All uses have been clearly identified as such. OpenAI launched the artificial intelligence platform ChatGPT in November 2022, during my...
View ArticleSatire: Bring back the circus
The circus is the epitome of American culture. When I was a child, nothing brought me more joy than packing a rickety circus grandstand and emptying my wallet for overpriced glow sticks and popcorn. Or...
View ArticleOpinion: Robots on campus are dystopian, funny
I sat outside Walter Library, basking in the hot October sun, but the unseasonably warm weather wasn’t the only thing that felt dystopian. After all, a robot was on the way. I’d just ordered a toasted...
View ArticleOpinion: The electoral college is bad for democracy
When you vote for president in the U.S., your vote is not going directly to your chosen candidate. Instead, your vote is met with a middle man first — a process called the Electoral College. You first...
View ArticleOpinion: Our country needs ranked choice voting
The same complaint comes from all sides of the political spectrum every election season — two choices is not enough. Perhaps neither Democrats nor Republicans match your views. Campaigns often feel...
View ArticleOpinion: Of goats and Gophers — a weekend away from campus
I chewed thoughtfully on a veggie burger from Culver’s and gazed out the car window at the boughs of tamarack trees glowing golden in the fading sunlight. My friends and I were headed to the Upper...
View ArticleOpinion: Where do we go from here?
For many of us, myself included, the past week was a difficult one. Beyond the initial disappointment and uncertainty of election night, I wondered: Where do we go from here? As tempting as it may be...
View ArticleOpinion: Why do we fall for partisan politics?
Our current system of partisan politics is a sick joke at the expense of the American people, and it’s gone on for far too long. Politics are not meant to be amusing, and our conflation of...
View ArticleOpinion: Take the election recap quiz!
It’s been an eventful week. To lighten the mood, let’s recap the notable moments over this election season and see if you’ve been tuning in or taking care of your mental health. Who won the...
View ArticleOpinion: The united snacks of America
Like many early 2000s kids, I was often told that snacking between meals was frowned upon growing up. We were to eat during our allotted three meals a day, and anything other than this was considered...
View ArticleOpinion: The underrated importance of email
Many people cringe upon hearing the word “email.” It often represents the worst parts of bureaucracy — cold, formal, painfully orderly and inevitably passive-aggressive. This stereotype is misguided....
View ArticleOpinion: Go crazy for kombucha
I’ve just gotten back from class and the world is weighing heavy on my shoulders. Thoughts of classes, my dating life and the state of our nation following the presidential election are swirling in...
View ArticleOpinion: Astrology’s hidden wisdom
While Astrology is often met with a degree of snark for its lack of scientific backing, young people are flocking toward it now more than ever. Astrology has a certain staying power. It may have lost...
View ArticleOpinion: A woman’s place is in the White House
Had Vice President Kamala Harris won the presidential election, she would have entered office 105 years after women won the right to vote. Alas, the journey from the ballot box to the oval office...
View ArticleOpinion: What band class taught me
On a whim, I picked the clarinet at the school music fair in fourth grade, and for the next eight years, I was a part of my school’s band programs. In middle school, I stayed in band class so I wasn’t...
View ArticleOpinion: The Twin Cities’ highway design is a mess
Every time my family from outside of Minnesota visits the Twin Cities, we agree on the same thing: our highways are terrible. All the interchanges are massive monstrosities that confuse drivers and...
View ArticleOpinion: The beauty of brutalism
From sidewalks to highways to entire buildings, concrete covers our city. It’s cold, uncomfortable to sit on and dull in color. Still, concrete is beautiful. My love for this cementitious building...
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